S.S.D.D.

bijou1986: A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 16:18:09 -0400

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

samsaranmusing: Best. Simpsons. Episode. Ever. Homer trips...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 00:43:26 -0400

samsaranmusing:

Best. Simpsons. Episode. Ever.

Homer trips on Guatemalan insanity peppers and Johnny Cash is coyote the trickster.

“The problem Homer is that the mind is constantly chattering away with a thousand thoughts at once. Clarity is the path to inner peace”

— Coyote to Homer Simpson

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Sun, 07 Apr 2013 17:41:04 -0400

zheliosz: “I can’t change”

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 17:40:54 -0400

zheliosz:

“I can’t change”

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Sun, 07 Apr 2013 17:39:51 -0400

boldygifing: grandthefttauntaun: Deleted Scene from Star Wars:...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 22:33:02 -0400

boldygifing:

grandthefttauntaun:

Deleted Scene from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Bold move

Do you ever feel like you’re not anyone’s first priority? There’s always someone else who is more...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 02:15:14 -0400

Do you ever feel like you’re not anyone’s first priority? There’s always someone else who is more important to text, to talk to, to hang out with. You just feel like that friend that’s in the background and not really important. You’re just the friend that’s put second, and never put first. Not once. Not at all.

queen-of-bakerstreet: ihuggedmikeyway: aangnog: pearlsandlockets: aangnog: we all masturbate in...

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 20:11:32 -0500

queen-of-bakerstreet:

ihuggedmikeyway:

aangnog:

pearlsandlockets:

aangnog:

we all masturbate in the same language

and what language is this?

loneliness

that was deep

so were my fingers last night

melomaaniline: We have learnt to conceal the large beams of...

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 19:24:34 -0500

melomaaniline:

We have learnt to conceal the large beams of wood we carry around on tour when anywhere except the stage, so I think the funny looks must just be at what we are wearing. - Sebastian Pringle

lol

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 19:10:53 -0500

lol

dicklickmagee: tell me the story about how the sunloved the moon so muchhe died every nightto let...

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 18:37:03 -0500

dicklickmagee:

tell me the story

about how the sun
loved the moon so much
he died every night
to let her breathe

I like this a lot.

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Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:16:24 -0500

mortem-ex-supra: catchez: onlylolgifs: Water balloon popped...

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 18:43:57 -0500

mortem-ex-supra:

catchez:

onlylolgifs:

Water balloon popped in zero gravity

STOP SHITTING ME

if you don’t want this on your dash, you’re lying

wartortles: 13 years of school and im still not sure if its “grey” or “gray”

Sat, 16 Feb 2013 20:53:56 -0500

wartortles:

13 years of school and im still not sure if its “grey” or “gray”

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Tue, 12 Feb 2013 20:33:57 -0500

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Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:23:00 -0500

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Mon, 11 Feb 2013 21:31:53 -0500

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Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:40:30 -0500

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Wed, 06 Feb 2013 20:46:35 -0500

seeminglydeepstatement: somefantasticallies: vivalatrench: mrsugarpink: rapewhistled: followmeho...

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 16:40:58 -0500

seeminglydeepstatement:

somefantasticallies:

vivalatrench:

mrsugarpink:

rapewhistled:

followmehome:

It’s not “bacon,” it’s a pig.

It’s not “veal,” it’s a calf.

It’s not “steak,” it’s a cow.

It’s not “meat,” it’s an animal…

its not “fruit”, its dividing cells that accumulate fructose…

it’s not delivery. it’s digiorno.

It’s not a scene, it’s a god damn arms race

It’s not “levioSA”, it’s “leviOsa”

Maybe it’s Maybelline